marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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