Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
one might say we're banned from that church
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
