is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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