did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
