I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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