This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
