Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
