So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
