i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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