Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
