I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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