I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
