i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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