She announced her abortion via fbk
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
