I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He passed out mid-signature
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
im on a boat
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