Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just forgot I was standing up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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