He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
