Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
