I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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