Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
