They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
