I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
