How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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