Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
