Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
