i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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