Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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