We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
