Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
