I cannot find my penis.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
