Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
