This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
