It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
