fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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