idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
