He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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