he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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