it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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