he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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