i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
