No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
