with your own penis?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
