yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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