My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
