It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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