why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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