Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
