Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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