We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
