He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
