just tell him i said nine months
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
