you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize