its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
