No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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