8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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