you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
