You can't motorboat a personality
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize