just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
