I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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